(still?)ness

do you still have that smile to which the sun can't compare?
because I've thought a lot lately about how you lit up my world, my life
you used to look at me, eye's glowing, through your purple hair
but that's gone, I missed out, and now you're going to be someone else's wife

do you still find joy in just living your own way?
because I've thought a lot lately about how you always could
or has the past pierced you so many times that you sometimes can't stand another day
I didn't know how to help, and didn't think anyone else would...

do I still have a shred of myself, a piece of innocence left?
because I've thought a lot lately about the times I've turned to anything else but You
I used to smile at ease. No worries, and laughing,behind each breath...
but I've tried every way, done everything to run away from that, even knowing that's not what I should do...

do Y(hwh)ou still look at me like that?
why do You still look at me like that?
how can You still look at me like that
because I'm too deep
because I'm too far
because I'm too unvaluable
aren't i?
No? I'm not?
No! I'm not!
I see it now...
that look in Your eyes,
that blood on Your face
that ghost inside me, screaming and touching my every sense
beckons over [and again over], "Come..."
You, my Saviour, throw out the failures!They're gone. Coverd [by that blood on your face]
the love i've lost...i missed my opportunity a long time ago...The Lord has not left me
the friends I've hurt with...we've been through everything together and still haven't healed...The Lord holds us strong
the cigarettes, the painful images, the insecurities...how did I ever get to that point? The Lord delivers and will reign over my life.
It's time for change