the FAM

The start of something I have been planning on doing for awhile in preparation for Thanksgiving:

My mom: I am so thankful for her for so many reasons. From her I was given sensitivity and in her I see such an admirable sensitivity towards the Lord's callin for her and towards people. She's taken care of me and been the one in my life along with my dad that has consistently, no matter what the circumstance, added in the most genuine manner after a situation "You know that we love you, son. That will never change."

My dad: My dad is quite possibly the most influential person in my life [though he may not know this...well...at least until right about now when he's reading it]. I've never known a wiser man, and I say that very seriously. I have NEVER understood how my dad can be so incredibly strong in every situation, so incredibly gentle even in his disappointment with me, and so INCREDIBLY loving to me in the most unchanging manner possible. The fact that my dad adores me and loves me is not only one of the main things driving me in every day life, but is also one of the leading factors that have kept me near to God over the years.

My Brother Chris: I can't even tell you how much I love Chris and that he doesn't even know it. Plain and simple, I look up to him. To be completely honest, I don't believe that he thinks I look up to him at all. Since mom, dad, and justin live a little different lifestyles than him, I think he may look at the possibility of me looking up to him as not good...and this just isn't true. Chris is SOOOO cool. He always makes me laugh, and we seem to (at least I hope we do) share this sense of relevancy where we're on the same level of thought during some discussions and interactions within our family. If I could have one thing if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would simply ask that Chris look at Jesus and Christianity in my point of view: to many people, it appears SOOO lame and hypocritical because, well...Lots of Christians are INCREDIBLY lame and even moreso hypocritical. But that's not what matters. The Lord has seriously, no joke, REALLY changed my life. It's real, and I'm sorry that so many people ruin the reality of God and what God can do for someone. I'm sorry if I ever have, and I will try to keep praying that all of the shit in his life that has happened or is happening doesn't effect his view of God anymore. God is so real. Chris is such a "cool" guy to me. Every time I'm around him, I'm slightly embarrassed to say, I feel like I'm cooler. Ha. I love Chris so much and plan on trying to communicate that to him this Thanksgiving...

My Brother Justin: I cannot even believe sometimes the strength that it must take to get through what Justin has in the past year. There were so many times where I just wanted to cry for him. I just wanted to be able to take his place because I knew even from imagining what he must feel that the amount of hurt, insecurity, and anger inside must be completely overwhelming. I love Justin. He has always seemed so mature. He went to college, found a beautiful wife, got a great degree, was offered many generous jobs... This is what I saw myself hopefully also doing. Now that hell broke loose. Guess what. I still look up to him...probably even more. Though I've not talked to him in great detail personally about his situation, I believe that he ended up ultimately falling on the Lord for strength. That's the most important thing isn't it? Realizing that your own strength is just NOT going to cut it. Justin still strives for the Lord. That is proof to me that I am on the right track. I love Justin SOO much and am thankful that He remains a good model for me and a great brother...