Great Lyrics....

there could be nothing after this
-=underoath=-

In the end we tend to think of how it began
I could never explain the picture it painted, and how it made me feel
Now the ceiling is in motion
The light centered and overlooked
You want to see me disappear? Well, so do I

Such a quiet evaporation

We're nothing but hollow vessels in search of what makes us alive
I never said this was my revolution when you looked me in the eye
Oh, how I've walked this white line so many times before
What a feeble attempt just to feel alive

This is for you and your hopeless case
You never would leave me in your wish to fail every time
Every time I try

So talk about it
At least it makes you feel something inside

Who have I become
Oh God, everything all around me is crumbling at my feet

I stare so delicate and ashamed
At the shelf I've shed myself from

In the eyes of my ghost
And I will never look back again

Sickness...

For some reason...I really enjoy putting "ness" on the ends of words that I use. Like dude-ness...anyways

Wow...so much has been happening in the past couple of months. and I just want to say I'm sincerely sorry for not posting stuff frequently like I've hoped to...And you may say [if anyone reads this anymore even] "Well why is he sorry? It's not a big deal" I suppose I'm apologizing equally to myself as I am to anyone who chooses to read my thoughts... It's been such a great facet of life to be able to just write stuff and post it.... And I will try again to stay consistent...


I've been gone for awhile now...again
I've not yet been able to figure out exactly what is driving my actions or thoughts lately...all I know is that I'm coming back

I think I shall save the deeper bits for tomorrow

My family get's to go to Kalahari resort on the Sunday after my Spring Break starts. The Kalahari resort is a MASSIVE indoor waterpark...and somehow in God's grace my entire family is going to be there for a couple of days and one night. Justin & Beth with Sarah, Lauryn, Lainey, and Audrey; Chris & Laura with Maddie; my mom and dad...and finally me... I can't even express how excited I am to just be able to spend my last few days with my parents for awhile with my bros, too! It will be incredible to hang out with all of my nieces and wear them out in the different pools and water toys...and then chill in the hot tubs at night and talk about life.

Chances are things won't necessarily work out PERFECT with all of us there. But I pray that it will and that it will be a blessing to my parents to spend some quality time with all of us before they take off...On that note...i've been thinking a lot lately [still] about my parents leaving soon. I've decided that it would be better sooner than later, because I feel like it gets harder each and every time we get closer to the date that they leave. So, and not for my benefit, I pray that the Lord takes them into His arms and somehow provides the finances for them to be able to go over to Chi-country somehow WITHOUT anymore stress... I know He will take care of them. I know it.

My band, Come On Come Here, has some really amazing new tracks up that we've received back from our recording time in Atlanta. The stuff came out pretty dang good quality so that's amazing. This past Friday night was perhaps our best show ever...Here are a couple pretty cool pictures from that show with Bringing Down Broadway and Left Among The Ashes...

(still?)ness

do you still have that smile to which the sun can't compare?
because I've thought a lot lately about how you lit up my world, my life
you used to look at me, eye's glowing, through your purple hair
but that's gone, I missed out, and now you're going to be someone else's wife

do you still find joy in just living your own way?
because I've thought a lot lately about how you always could
or has the past pierced you so many times that you sometimes can't stand another day
I didn't know how to help, and didn't think anyone else would...

do I still have a shred of myself, a piece of innocence left?
because I've thought a lot lately about the times I've turned to anything else but You
I used to smile at ease. No worries, and laughing,behind each breath...
but I've tried every way, done everything to run away from that, even knowing that's not what I should do...

do Y(hwh)ou still look at me like that?
why do You still look at me like that?
how can You still look at me like that
because I'm too deep
because I'm too far
because I'm too unvaluable
aren't i?
No? I'm not?
No! I'm not!
I see it now...
that look in Your eyes,
that blood on Your face
that ghost inside me, screaming and touching my every sense
beckons over [and again over], "Come..."
You, my Saviour, throw out the failures!They're gone. Coverd [by that blood on your face]
the love i've lost...i missed my opportunity a long time ago...The Lord has not left me
the friends I've hurt with...we've been through everything together and still haven't healed...The Lord holds us strong
the cigarettes, the painful images, the insecurities...how did I ever get to that point? The Lord delivers and will reign over my life.
It's time for change

[wind]ing road

The wind was crazy yesterday. Absolutely crazy. I mean I was working 10pm-6am and walking around and it almost put my on my face a couple of times.

...and I could have sworn that one time, in a gust of violent wind, that God was incredibly angry at me
what have i done lately to deserve any grace?
what attempts have i made recently to anchor even one bolt to help me climb out of this cavern?
how many times have i recently [blatantly] ignored His presence. drawing me. calling to me. crying for me.?
why haven't i just let Him take me over?
what am i so afraid of?

Here's the answer key to those questions:
you've done nothing to deserve any grace...
you've not made any bolts to progress or signify a desire to leave this cavern...
too many times to count...
because you're afraid...
you're afraid of insufficiency
of incompletion
of inability


I know that this note is a bit melancholy...it is the abstractness of the core of some of the negative ideas in my head.

To be completely honest, I'm doing really, REALLY well. While I am being honest though I must say that I ran far away from my walk with the Lord for awhile. and that is changing.

Tomorrow I'll post some things that are actually happening in my life...


I do not confess that these chains are stronger than I can handle, for I am empowered by the greatest force that has or will ever exist. But it is truthfully taking me a bit longer than expected to break free.

I love ya'll...and sorry I've been away for so long. Take care, love people more than you ever thought you possibly could, and I will talk to you soon.

-sfk

Can't Stop Till I Get Enough

So a whole lot has happened over the past couple of weeks. I won't be dragging that all over your eyes, but coming soon I will let you guys know what's up...No worries...I just have to be done with Monday because I'm working until 6am and it's gonna be a lonnnnng day...

Don't worry, I've not given up on this blog...never....

o love that lasts...

something I wrote a long time ago that I just found...

o love that lasts,
you aren't the same love of my past
i'll rest in you
if you move in me
and forever I will never be
alone

~sfk~

I'm Sorry...

I'm so genuinely sorry. I hope you know that. I wish things were not as they are.